it was almost 22 years ago that i became a mom.
i was 17 and i had no idea what i was doing.
i had never been one who loved babysitting (that was my sister).
i had big plans. marriage and children were to come maybe around 25. maybe not.
God had other plans.
so it was.
at 17 i became the mother of a BEAUTIFUL baby girl. she was without a doubt my angel sent from heaven. she put me on the right track and brought out of me something i didn't know i had. she was mine.
i didn't understand what God had intended for me. i didn't know where i belonged or even how to find out.
i knew how to love and i knew how to trust the Lord, although, i'll be honest sometimes i didn't really know who He was. i just knew that there was something bigger, much bigger than me. and one day life would fall into place.
years went by and shawn and i decided to have another child. and so it came to be that i was now the mother of not only a beautiful girl (now age 6) but also, a handsome little boy.
for years i parented as best as i knew how. i searched for spiritual answers and drew upon the examples of many amazing women.
when gavin was about 2 my mom and i came across quilting and the best quilt shop EVER that just happened to be located right down the street from where i lived. it was there in that little quilt shop that i developed an amazing relationship with my own mother, as well as, friendships with women who, to this day, i love and admire more than they will ever know. words can't express my gratitude to these women for the examples they continue to be, even now.
it took 5 years before i realized that the majority of them had one common thread. their religion.
i wanted to be like them. i wanted to have a family like theirs, i wanted the peace that they had and i loved hearing them talk about the husbands and children. i was shocked when someone told me that they didn't believe in Jesus Christ. Shocked. Sad. Disappointed.
it took me sometime before i was corrected and the moment i learned that they absolutely DID i knew i had found where i belonged.
what i didn't know is that i would soon learn what the Lord had intended me to be.
it wasn't an interior designer or an artist or some world traveler. it was a mom. pure and sweet. mom.
my life changed. my attitude changed. my relationship with my children and my husband changed. i was happy. i had answers to a question that had bothered me for nearly 12 years. why am i here? what would you have me do?
shawn and i decided to get pregnant again. chelsie was 14, gavin was 8 and along came sweet masyn.
a couple years later, shawn and gavin joined the church and we were sealed in the temple as an eternal family.
if i thought our marriage was good before, it was better now. by far.
when masyn was 4 we decided to get pregnant again and along came our happy go lucky nolan and two years after that came beautiful evyn rose.
our family is complete. i am the mom to 5 beautiful children.
i don't do everything perfect. i fail miserably at any number of things. patience is a virtue that i constantly pray for and often i find myself longing for peace and quiet. there are many times that dinner is prepared by the jolly folks at mcdonalds and i go to sleep hoping that some elves will clean up the house before my alarm clock goes off in the morning. i am definetly NOT perfect.
but i do love my kids and i do love being a mom. i love the relationship i have with my oldest, even when she's 12 hours away. i love learning new ways to improve myself and the knowledge that this is what i am here to do.
nothing is more important than being a mom. nothing.
i may not be great at teaching them how to tie their shoes (that's shawn's job) and i may not have the patience to teach them how to drive, but i will do my best to teach them to serve the Lord, be honest, be kind, have integrity, work hard, trust in the Lord and know that they are the children of an amazing Heavenly Father and they are special.
i am soooo very grateful to the women in my life who have taught me by their love and example how to be a mom. i strive daily to be more like them. i am grateful for the Church and for the knowledge it has given me and for Jesus Christ who is a perfect example in all things. i am grateful to my husband who has been through more than will ever be known with me and has been faithful and unwaivering in his love for his family.
and by far, i am grateful for my children. for the love that they give, for the joy that they have brought to our lives and for teaching me more about loving, selflessness, forgiveness, and faith than i ever thought possible.
i love you. so very, very much.